Smart Went Crazy

It’s crazy how something so simple can turn such a shitty day around. Oh, and I’m still gonna be vague about the situation haha.

So yeah, I just got back from a good 15 minute walk up and down my street. It was just refreshing. Uplifting, even. It’s not like I keep things bottled up inside, but I was never the type to do things like this. I had a lot on my mind so put on my headphones, and just walked. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before, at least not alone. So on my way up my hill, the combination of the right music and the cool summer night breeze instantly relieved loads of stress. All of a sudden, I was able to think clearly. I got to plan things out and I’m feeling very optimistic.

On my way back, it was something else though. It was just so… peaceful. I mean I’ve seen some of the most beautiful things in life and I know what complete silence is like, but this was different. I was walking back down my hill, and the view of cars passing by on the 94, Downtown SD, the Coronado Bridge, and the ocean caught my eye like never before. Oh yeah, for those who haven’t been to my house/neighborhood, I have a pretty dope view haha. But yeah, it was something special. It was kind of like a life-affirming moment. I don’t know what it was, but I had a feeling that everything will be alright. Not just this situation, but life. It may be just a feeling, but damn it, I’m holding onto it.

I’m prepared for tomorrow, and I’ll be sleeping much easier now. I may not be the strongest or the smartest, but this is something I can handle. Fuck that, I’m going to triumph over all of this.

reality hits.

ASDKAJSLDJL JAS ALFJALS FJ

Sure there’s still hope, but damn. Well this is gonna be very vague. Very vague. I really just don’t feel like going into too much detail. At least not right now.

Tomorrow and Tuesday will pretty much tell me how my future will be for the next couple of years. Have all my years of procrastination and bad karma caught up to me? Let’s hope not. Seriously, this is probably the worst I’ve felt since… ever. Ugh, gotta keep my priorities in check. I’m NOT gonna fuck up this time. Sure I’ll be fine, regardless of the outcome. It’s just that what if one of those outcomes is extremely far from my expectations? I haven’t felt a single ounce of pessimism in forever. And now, it’s slowly creeping back.

Wish me luck even though you most likely don’t know what’s going on. I sure as hell need it.

Sometimes you just gotta let things happen. Let time fill in the blanks. Let the pieces slowly fall into place.

I miss you.

-hedgehogsdilemma:

mbeezybbylove:

I ♥ chinky people